2012 – What does it mean for a Man to create a life that works ?

I am on holiday with my woman in a quiet sea side town on the Mortington Peninsula in Melbourne. It is picture perfect and I have been reflecting today on a Blog for the New Year (my agreement with myself is that I do not Blog unless I have something to say). Creating a life that works – what does it mean, how would it look ? what would it include ? is it the same as an extraordinary life ? Possibly. And to create extraordinary I must go to work on what is currently NOT extraordinary. So where can I go to work ? Connection – relationships: I recognise the craving in myself for connection with friends, my children, my woman, my workmates, my clients, waitstaff in a coffee shop. I feel the exhilaration of being acknowledged and the frustration and sometimes even the fury of being ignored, let down, forgotten. And I remember a simple lesson “I must give what I wish to receive” – not once but again and again and again. Each time the need arises for my own recognition I will recognise another. That is the practice. Providing – financial success and security: I established a vision for my life and my business in 2000. it is now 2012 and the business has been through many phases during that time. While it has delivered numerous lifestlye benefits and rewards it has not rewarded me financially until recently. Now for the first time the financial rewards have begun. While my self worth is not given by my spending capacity it enriches my sense of being a man when I can lavish gifts upon my woman, when I can pay for our holiday without a churn in my gut, when I buy something just because I can. And it feels like the reward for effort is now being recognised. And this to shall pass and who I am is much more then the size of my wallet or home BUT I am man and provider. At my core I am the hunter and protector. Contributing – community, philanthropic: The mens group project has been a combined effort between Brett and I but it is Brett’s passion, commitment and dedicated practical hours that have resulted in the website and project coming to fruition. it feels great to receive accolades from men from all over the world acknowledging the resource that we have created. I have also had a simple insight as it pertains to evolution (the company that I co-own) and our capacity to contribute. The insight is that in parallel we can develop both our philanthropic contribution and our profitability. I am going to inspire our clients and group leaders to create a project with me whereby we provide prosthetic limbs for people in the developing world based on the numbers of sessions that people attend. And thus we will create something that matters. Growing – self, purpose: As we walked through our quiet beach side suburb Caroline (my partner) and I discussed moving here and how life would look. A white picket fence, a garden, quaint coffee houses and unspoilt beaches. “It is all I want for now” she said. I was quiet for a while as I reflected on it. “I want to change the world” I said. That is my mission and vision and that is what I am doing. I will not settle for less and perhaps I can fulfill that mission and provide her with life she wants here. Commitment – health, children: I look at the people on the beach. So many lack vitality. So many are overweight. I think the core commitment that I can show myself is to my body and to my health. To remain fluid, mobile, flexible, strong, and vital. To do that will take consistency, awareness, planning, being my word and a commitment not to take the easy path. nurturing – children, relationship My children and my partner, truly a gift and blessing and all three of them, my greatest teachers. My children always hold up the mirror to me. They show me the peace of of being beings of forgiveness, completely present to their world. Curious beings, sponges and mine to guide and nurture. That responsibility is an awesome one and I watch myself both triumph and fail. I see my fallibility and my incapacity to hold the space, to nurture them always with love. And my promise to myself is that i will bring them up with love and never with fear. Forgiving – letting go, letting go, letting go, dropping, presencing, remaining curious and unattached: In quiet times, away from the distractions of work and all that happens I am constantly brought face to face with the challenge of staying open. Simple interactions where I feel unseen, unrecognised, rejected. The moment where I see the choice between staying open or closing and I close. It seems so simple yet the descent into the cave can be so quick and then I am gone, shutdown, and either quiet or surly or sharp and then the internal voice becomes strong. And the game is to seek ascent from the cave, to forgive and to let go. That is all there is to do. So simple and sometimes so totally and completely inaccessible. And that is a life that works

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